Before the next tournament
by Asuka Sakura26
Summary: A look at what participants did in their spare time before Tekken Tag Tournament 2. Don't read if you didn't finish the Scenario mode in Tekken 6 as there are a bit of spoilers. OOC/Crackfic. GET READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Very OOC/Crackfic. Though there were some serious stuff. Yep. Completely wholesome. Hehe. Sorry if I couldn't write all of the characters.I'll maybe add another chapter to include more characters in the future. I apologize in advance for the few author's notes that pop sometimes within the story.

Thank you for reading!Enjoy. (I couldn't decide on a title sorry)

UPDATE: Edited some grammatical errors in this chapter. Thanks for the review by the way! The next chapter will be up very soon!  
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**In the meantime**

Heihachi Mishima combed his new BLACK hair. He was young again! He winked at the mirror as he flashed his new white shiny teeth. He had a complete set of teeth! No more dentures Ma! No..wait! His mother was already dead.

His father Jinpachi...no he didn't want to talk about that right now.

Heihachi combed his left spiky hair then the right. Then his thick eyebrows and his moustache...then his hair again...

He froze when he suddenly felt an ominous aura outside. Then he became excited. However he found no one with the devil gene (Kazuya or Jin) out there. He angrily stomped back to the mirror with a "hmph".

Then heard his father's creepy and possessed laughter (A/N: Think of Tekken 5's final stage).

He...he must be hearing things.

He tried to laugh it off but it sounded nervous instead. He merely shrugged after a few seconds then admired his face some more.

He can't wait to show this to the ladies!

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Jaycee couldn't fit in the wrestling outfit and fell.

She hastily apologized to the spirits for the (bad) words that came out of her mouth. After glaring at it for hours (She wasn't fat! It was just too tight!) , she had it altered to her size.

She looked at the mirror later wearing the altered outfit. She wondered how her mother would react if she saw her right now. Ah! Jaycee...a shortcut for Julia Chang...J.C. haha genius! Julia would never ever think of being a wrestler or at least pretend to be one but here we are. She had to fill in for a friend who was injured. She couldn't recognize herself. Perfect! No one would know it was her at the tournament! Not even that tubby...what's his name. She acted like she didn't know but she knew that fat guy had a crush on her mother ever since and now he had a crush on her?

Ew...

"Wrestler...not a scientist...wrestler. You can do this." A mantra she made to get through this. She watched WWE for tips on how wrestlers behaved. People would see through her act if she didn't do it perfectly. She couldn't get anything much from King because all he did was growl like a huge uh...cat. His moves were great though. As for Craig Marduk...now that was a great...uh...example.

She felt like a complete idiot now for agreeing to this.

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Robert "Bob" Richards lost weight. He couldn't believe he just lost 150 pounds! What about speed and weight now huh! He repeatedly banged his head on the wall and passed out from all that blood loss. When he woke up, he thought of a brilliant idea. He then got an icepack for his aching forehead.

He ate a lot during meals. When he gained enough pounds that produced what looks like a beer belly, he began to take drastic measures. He parked his ass on the couch and turned on the television. He brought 5 large bags of chips,2 gallons of ice cream, a bucket of fried chicken,a bag of cooked fries,5 hamburgers,4 boxes of popcorn and 2 liters of soda with him for the marathon.

And that was only the appetizer!

So he ate and ate, and ate some more! He turned back to the serious ugly tub of lard we all love in just a few weeks. No...even worse. He was so huge that he couldn't lift his arms or his legs anymore. He screamed and attempted to bang his head again against the wall but found that he couldn't move an inch from his spot. He resorted to using an electronic wheelchair to move around the house later instead. He bought it from the internet at an affordable price to boot! He tipped the boys who had to carry the stuff and struggled (almost failing) to get his fat ass on the chair.

Who knew speeding was so much fun?

Except when you actually crashed on the floor before you could reach the damn refrigerator. Then you start having hallucinations..."Food...Food...I'm dying..." when only a few seconds just passed. Eventually you go unconscious because of the heat.

Bob resolved to lose some pounds. A teeny weeny little bit will do in order to train...to fight at the next tournament

He'll have to get off the floor first. After 2 hours he gave up and yelled for help.

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Some men groaned as they washed Jin Kazama with a water hose. He was covered in sand. Where's the high tech shower when you need it? Or the human size dishwasher thingy? Stupid missing repairmen. This wasn't part of the job description! They had no choice however. Raven could be scary sometimes.

"He's evil! He went and started World War 3!" said the others in hushed tones,afraid the black ninja would hear. The rest nodded in agreement but all secretly envied his muscular structure. Evil or not, Jin Kazama looked good in swimming trunks (it was all they could find in such a short notice).

-TEKKEN-

Jin Kazama woke up, screaming. His heart was beating fast in his chest. It was because he saw a white light before he woke up. He's convinced his mother just came for a visit.

Wait that was a good thing right? But was it real or just a dream? How he missed his mother so. If only she hadn't disappeared...if only she didn't die. Yet he wondered if she was really here...alive, would she spank him you know where?

His mother would absolutely hate him. Sure he had his intentions but waging war against the entire world was unacceptable. It was totally unforgivable. He deeply regretted every sacrifice that was made and every life that was lost but he had to. It was the only option.

Jin believed that there was no hope left for him. His soul will rot in hell for eternity when he dies. But he wondered why he was alive now. He was sure he was gonna die with that monster yet here he was. Did he fail? Is it still alive? No he made sure it wouldn't be.

He glared at the bright light above the ceiling. It turns out he was in some kind of room with white walls. He was wearing all white. He sighed in relief for a second that it was not a hospital though and that he wasn't in a strait jacket. He found it comforting for now that there weren't annoying doctors,cops,reporters or an angry mob outside that were out to get him. At least not yet.

But where the hell is he? He looked around and demanded answers. He was met with total and absolute silence. Jin Kazama does not panic. Jin Kazama however does not like being ignored. He glared. That was all he could do. Where the hell was he? He demanded food and water dammit! Some decent clothes would also suffice. Where the hell was his suit? Where the hell was Nina Williams? Mishima Zaibatsu? Anyone? Was he being observed? He began to spread his black wings wide and then he fell with a loud thud.

He couldn't get through the blasted ceiling. He hit his head and passed out.

-TEKKEN-

Raven in the other room saw everything through the glass window (A/N: Jin didn't see the glass window. It was like the observation rooms the cool spies had in movies). He just shook his head and told the others to get Jin Kazama some treatment.

In fact Jun Kazama was there with Jin a few minutes ago. She got in the facility flawlessly,undetected. How that happened in such a high tech facility? Sure blame the maintenance guys. Or was it because Raven was busy eating lunch at the time. No food was allowed in the observation room they say. Most of the guards were knocked out cold especially the ones in front of Jin's room. The others were trapped in the bathroom. The others were asleep. Lazy bastards.

Jun smiled. He had gotten so big! If only that Ogr-...this not the time to regret about things in the past. She was glad her son is alive. He grew up into a very handsome man. He must've broken a lot of hearts. She hoped that wasn't the case.

She pinched his cheeks (almost red by now) but he still didn't wake. Hmph. Heavy sleeper. She wondered if he had sleeping pills in his system. She caressed his hair and touched the mark on his arm. She understood what he did and was so very proud of him. She almost turned back when she heard her son hit his head. She smiled again.

They'll see each other very soon.

Now she was on her way to Kazuya. She planned to give him a heart attack and beat him to a pulp for picking a fight at every chance he got with his own kid.

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Alisa Bosconovitch yawned when she awoke from her slumber. She panicked when the rest of her body was missing. It turns out her head (it was detachable) was just far away from her body. She could move her fingers and toes but her body won't move from its position.

Her head had to be examined so that's why it was detached from the rest of her. Lars Alexanderson had pressed his face on the glass window the whole day, eyes like a puppy. Well he had nothing to do on this particular fine day so he came to visit. He was relieved that she finally woke up. Relieved that she had her green eyes back. Not her "murderous and must follow orders" red ones. Rather he had this big smile on his face that was so unlike him. He saw her panic but thought it was cute. Well she was cute with pink hair and all. He blinked then yelled that Alisa was awake without moving from his position, startling everyone including Lee Chaolan.

How long was he staring at her anyway?

She saw him at the window and smiled. He couldn't hear it but he knew she called his name. They smiled at each other like for an eternity. Lee waved his hand over Lars' face but the spiky guy didn't even notice. Lee then rolled on the floor laughing while Lars glared. Lars frowned in disappointment when Alisa was shut down temporarily when the scientists came. They would have to finish their evaluations and reattach her head to the rest of her body now that's she's functional again.

Hmm..where should they go afterwards? What does she eat anyway? What should he wear? Should he buy her new clothes? Should he tell her that he...

Lars snapped from his reverie to find Lee laughing again.

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Emilie "Lili" Rochefort sighed as she sipped her afternoon tea. Her reunion with Asuka Kazama wasn't what she had hoped. They haven't settled their fight yet. What's worse is that her rival was in her house!

Her rival Asuka Kazama, was right in front of her. Eating like a pig, she noted with absolute horror. There wasn't finesse, grace or manners. Manners like hers. She reminded herself again of the difference in life status.

It was odd that Sebastian was happy. He then mentioned that it was so great to have friends. Lili was insulted. The Kazama girl was definitely not her friend!

-TEKKEN-

Asuka Kazama felt the same way and told Lili to stop glaring (she was also glaring but only in defense). The rich girl looked at her as if she had no manners! Well she was hungry! She just lost her lunch because of the stupid girl! This was payback for her ruined lunch but she literally gawked at the food and the huge mansion the rich but haughty girl lived in. It was embarrassing but the rich girl's father insisted that Asuka come here.

She wanted to leave now! But without her fist colliding to that face!

What the heck are all these kitchen utensils for anyway? She was used to chopsticks for crying out loud! There were a lot of them. You can't expect anyone to use them all at once! Though the butler was helpful in explaining the use of each one. She almost choked when the butler said they were friends. They were not!

-TEKKEN-

Lili was unable to fight Kazama as her father hated violence and wouldn't allow it. Lili wouldn't want to break her poor father's heart. Also the china might break in their tiny scuffle. She loved that china. Her favorite tea glass was one of them. Oh how she loved tea. In every tournament no matter where or when, there will be always time for tea.

She got scolded by her dear father with the robust eyebrows about the limousine incident. The one that panda ran over. She was also reprimanded as well for the classes that she and the Kazama girl missed. She promised that she won't do it again. But she never said that she wouldn't look for Kazama again.

-TEKKEN-

Asuka silently fumed. Why couldn't the daughter be this nice? She knew it was fake. In her father's presence, blondie acted like an angel. Obedient,gentle and like one who could not hurt a single fly. Yeah right. She was toured all over the place... the entire mansion and its lovely garden. If not only for the hospitality of the father and the nice expensive furniture, they could settle this here and now. How her fists tingled to punch the girl on the face right now. She rolled her eyes and felt disgusted when the other girl smiled and acted like they were soul sisters or best friends when in his presence (even when she left). She played along for now. Let's get this over with. Poor old man. He didn't know his daughter was a crazy...ah forget it. They quickly separated and insulted each other when he left though. They decided to settle this instead at the next tournament.

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	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sup? Long time no see! I've been really really really busy. Ok! Here's the next chapter! I have to publish this before it rots in my archive. I'll put another chapter once I feel like writing something. While we wait in anticipation for Tekken Tag 2 and Tekken 3ds to come to consoles/handhelds next year, I present this uh... thing which was purely made out of sheer boredom. Haha. I know it's not hilarious as hell but I hope it amuses people. Thanks for the review by the way! Here's Hwoarang for you! Everyone enjoy. Anyway read and review...please and thank you!

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**In the Meantime**

Paul and Law sat on the floor contemplating on their failed attempts at earning money.

For every second, every minute, every hour, every day...

For every moment Paul Phoenix applied hair gel to his gravity defying hair do (whistling while he worked)...their debts just grew and grew. Law wanted to kick himself. Also he wanted to cut the hair of the guy beside him...with a chainsaw.

"Hey man how can you afford hair gel at a time like this?"

"You know pal even in these hard times, a man has to look his best! Osu!"

The Chinese cook and bared chested fighter shooked his head. His friend was still in his "Osu" pose and was smiling widely. Obviously his good friend was still oblivious about what the ladies wanted. He's the married man! Paul should ask tips from him!

Paul's red gi didn't look clean either. How can he impress the ladies with that!

Come to think of it...when was the last time did this guy take a bath anyway?

"What if we sell your restaurant and my dojo to earn big money?"

"Sell my restaurant? Are you out of your mind man! Hell no! Not in a million years! Yeah right...as if we could sell your rundown filthy thing that you call dojo!"

"Hey!"

"Like I'd listen to you stinky! After you train or after running from debt collectors, take a bath first before you come here will ya!"

Paul sniffed himself. He checked his breath (ooh that ramen smell! Yum!), then sniffed his left and right armpits (longer than usual...Law cringed in disgust).

_He's right. This reeks._ _I do really need a shower!_ "Alright gotcha. And I'm in a good mood so I'll just pretend that I never heard a thing about my dojo."

"Told ya. Now can you put your arms down?"

"Okay they're down. Now can you stop covering your nose! I can't understand what you're saying half of the time!"

"Fine. I'll...just sit right over here then." _At the corner. Away from you. _"Sorry pal."

"Is it me or is it hot in here?" _Of course...In the looks department, I'm the only one that's HOT in this place!_ "Your airconditioner's not working again. I'm sweating like a pi- Uh...nevermind. Can I use your bathroom?"

_And use my bathtub and have a bubble bath? No way you're going near my rubber ducky Phoenix!_ "No."

"What! I was just going to pee..."

_Oh._ "Use the public toilet instead."

"...Alright fine. I'll be right back."

Paul came back after 30 minutes and became veeeeery silent. Actually he was deep in thought. Thinking about solving his own debt probably. Apparently the people they owed increased the interest. If only they had the money back then they wouldn't have this problem!

Law himself had no ideas at the moment and looked at the surroundings for a distraction. He found the perfect thing! The tower that his friend called his hair! He wondered how high that thing would go. In that time by then...would it rival the Tower of Pisa? The Eiffel Tower of Paris? The Statue of Liberty? All of the possibilities!

He attempted to cut it so many times (even without Paul's permission...in his sleep) but to no avail. He was thinking of chasing the blondie with a lawnmower now for laughs.

His own hair however was damn fine. Moustache or no moustache...he looked good! He was so smexy! His own son is a splitting image of his coolness!

One of Paul Phoenix eyebrows shot up. Then he laughed his ass off at the sight of Law flexing his muscles.

After a good 2 hours or so, they consulted their little notebook called "GET RICH QUICKLY OR DIE TRYING! BOOK OF INCREDIBLE IDEAS BY THE HANDSOME PAUL PHOENIX AND HIS SIDEKICK!...I mean BESTFRIEND LAW!" (scribbled messily on a piece of paper then taped on the kiddie cover) for ideas regarding their next plan. They spent 30 minutes debating on the title and argued or rather fought on how Paul wrote it ("Who's the sidekick you idiot!").

Both have forgiven each other for their failed attempt at winning the sixth tournament. However, the injuries they sustained were still sore though. One rubbed his cheek and the other still rubbed his uh...down there from time to time.

After another 20 minutes of silence...blondie spoke.

"Yes! It's brilliant! We should start right away!"

"What's brilliant? Did you think about something?"

"Yes! With this, we'll be rich in no time!"

"Rich..."

"We'll be rich I tell you! This time I guarantee we won't fail!"

"Rich..."

"I am a genius!"

"Rich..."

"Those bastards when I show them the money..I'll be laughing at their face!"

"Rich! I like it! Okay! Tell me!

"How about Plan 92?"

"Plan 92? Okay here it is!"

"So? Brilliant huh? Told you this would work!"

"NO WAY! WE"RE NOT GONNA WAIT FOR ALIENS TO COME TO EARTH, KNOCK EM OUT AND SELL THEM TO THE POLICE FOR FAME AND GLORY YOU IDIOT!"

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Ganryu was thinking of going on a diet for the lovely Julia Chang.

Nah.

He loved Sumo too much to give it up. Really. No really. Yep. That was it. He absolutely lives for Sumo! Sumo forever! Hah! Who cares about being fit anyway? Those skinny people!

Alright fine! Who was he kidding? His restaurant wasn't popular so he couldn't afford the gym expenses . He was too lazy to actually do any running. No exercise means no getting the fat out of your system. There! Happy?

Even doing sumo isn't exercise. You've got to stay huge to do sumo!

Still if he was thin..all the possibilities!

He would be more handsome! He would fit in those skinny jeans!

He would have...what did they call it? Right! Six pack abs...

He would have more fans! More than that...Jin Kazama fellow! The lovely Julia would fall head over heels in love with him!(Drool...Wait he should wipe that off)

And...and he would now be able to fly! That black orb thingy made him grow black wings on his back! He had these really cool tattoos!

But he couldn't fly being so dreadfully heavy so that was a total bummer.

No one believed his story and everyone laughed in his face. He just couldn't make the tattoos and wings reappear. So here he is...once again thinking about the lovely Ms. Chang...sighing dreamily leaning on the bedroom window gazing upon the stars.

A shooting star!

"Julia.."

Meanwhile, Julia Chang suddenly felt a shiver run down on her spine. Brrr...Creeepy.

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"For once Hwoarang stop thinking of kicking Jin Kazama's ass and concentrate!"

"...Yes master."

"What? I can't hear you..."

"YES MASTER!"

"Shh...not so loud boy!"

"M-Master why do I have to do this again?"

"This is training."

"What? How could this be part of training!"

"And master...this suit is too tight!"

"Stop complaining will you.."

Baek Doo San and his pupil were in a wedding dance rehearsal. Yep. You heard right. They were doing the waltz. Inspired by the legendary "wax in,wax out" uh..thing, Baek Doo San knew this was the perfect training for his pupil. There were lots of things that Hwoarang could learn from this: focus, rhythm, patience...which by the way was completely running out by now.

Okay...It might be also due to the insistence (or rather persistence) of Baek Doo San's relatives. Someone was getting married in the family and he of course had to attend. It was a honor to be invited and to decline such an offer would be rude. It would be also interesting to see his student in another...ahem...light.

There was no way out of this. Not even if Hwoarang tried to run, he'll just get dragged back. His niece also had a crush on Hwoarang thus they made him her partner/date.

Hwoarang once again politely excused himself from his partner and approached his master.

He bowed then whispered in his master's ear. "Master I give up. Give me another one. I can't do this."

"Why? You haven't even tried yet. I told you...focus."

"I am master! But...I-I...Her feet! They're huge! If she steps on my foot one more time, I'm gonna..."

"Going to do what?"

"N-nothing master!"

"Good."

3 more days to go before the wedding...

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No matter how hard he tried Kuma couldn't win Panda's heart.

He tried everything. Flowers, chocolates...even fish he would've eaten for dinner...only to get rejected so many times.

The flowers were shoved in his face. Silently he was glad that it wasn't shoved into his rear instead and sent him flying like some infamous orange wearing ninja. That would really hurt and cause him mental and emotional trauma for all eternity.

Then that big and really yummy looking fat fish that he spent hours just to catch...

He tied a ribbon on it, attached a note that said "For my LoVe...PanDa - KUMA." (How bears knew how to write we will never know) and after a kiss he left it in front of Ling Xiaoyu's residence. In anticipation of Panda being thrilled upon seeing the fish, Kuma waited. And waited. And waited some more.

He waited for 5 long excruciating hours and still no sign of his *cough* love. His ass was starting to itch as he was hiding in the bushes.

Only to find Ling Xiaoyu open the door instead and get disgusted by the fish that was swarming with flies. It was fed to a cat soon after.

He never cried so much in his life. A scene which terribly annoyed Heihachi (he couldn't sleep).

His winning smile didn't work on Panda. Winking at her only gave him a black eye.

Wearing his floaters or his tutu didn't work either..wait what?

Or dying his fur white and black to look like a panda himself (which only made Panda raise her eyebrows and walk away). He tried going all white if Panda digged Polars instead but to no avail. Nope not even wearing his glasses to look cool worked either.

The box of chocolates were thrown away...no! Those were expensive!

How could he have known that you ask? Or to put it simply...how can a bear buy something like that? Well...here's the thing...His master was gonna kill him. His master was gonna kill him for stealing it in the first place..once he finds out. He stole the box of Snickers and Ferrero Rocher placed on top of the bed. Those were his master's favorites but Kuma couldn't help it. It had to be special when Panda was involved.

If his master asks, he'll have to deny taking it (and say nothing...nothing I tell ya!) or so help his fluffy ass.

As much as he loved his master with his whole heart, there were times he didn't. Now here's a little secret...On the outside Heihachi was fierce...he would beat anyone who stands in his way to a pulp. But within his room, when he and Kuma were all alone...he gorges on the stuff like an animal.

Disgusting.

And Kuma was the bear around here.

He couldn't ask his master Heihachi for help in the matters of love. He imagined the old man laughing in his face. The man couldn't even communicate with him...let alone understand him...his agony, his pain, his broken heart.

There was no way the old man could give useful advice. It would take a miracle for Heihachi to be able to develop a thing called kindness or love for his fellow human.

Well look at the guy! He has no love life. He spends his days on maniacal laughter while plotting against his own family. He threw his own son off a cliff (later in a volcano) and shot his grandson straight in the face!

So Kuma sulked. He sulked and brooded like there was no tomorrow. He was like those emo guys you see in anime and Final Fantasy. He wished he had spiky hair though. That might convince Panda to marry him!

Heihachi found Kuma hours later rolled up into a ball.

The old man firmly believed the stupid bear ate his chocolate.

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